Making the Invisible Visible: Reflections on Masculinity, Fatherhood and Therapy

With thanks to our student member, Dr. Sharin Baldwin, for this blog.

Introduction

As a trainee counsellor, my understanding of masculinity and men’s mental health has been shaped by a long professional journey that began in healthcare. Before starting my counselling training, I worked as a nurse, midwife, and health visitor, supporting parents through the perinatal period and beyond. Over the years, I became increasingly aware that while mothers’ emotional wellbeing is well recognised and supported, fathers’ experiences are often overlooked or not acknowledged.

That recognition eventually led me to complete my PhD - the New Dad Study, which was a three-part mixed-methods study exploring first-time fathers’ mental health and wellbeing during their transition to fatherhood (Baldwin et al., 2018; 2019; 2021, 2022). The stories shared by the fathers who took part have stayed with me and continue to shape my professional identity and the way I now approach counselling.


Personal Reflections on Masculinity

My understanding of masculinity has changed considerably over the years. In my early career, I sometimes viewed masculinity mainly as a barrier to men asking for help. Now I see it as far more nuanced—capable of care, empathy, and deep emotional insight.

The fathers I met through the New Dad Study taught me this. Many spoke of intense love for their partners and babies, mixed with fear, exhaustion, and loneliness. It reminded me that men’s emotional lives are just as complex as women’s, but often less visible because systems and services don’t always ask or know how to listen. These experiences now underpin my therapeutic approach: to listen beyond words and to notice what has long gone unheard.

From both my research and practice, I’ve learned that men often respond best to support that feels collaborative, practical, and respectful. I tend to use straightforward language and a down-to-earth style. It’s important to meet clients where they are, sometimes starting with what feels “safe to talk about” before moving deeper.

Narrative approaches can be particularly powerful, inviting men to consider the stories they tell about themselves and how those stories have been shaped by cultural expectations. My background in health visiting also taught me the importance of warmth, containment, and being truly present. And sometimes, a touch of humour can help - breaking down barriers, helping men to relax, and showing that therapy doesn’t always have to feel heavy.


Making the Invisible Visible: The Film

Wanting to share the voices of the fathers I had met through my research more widely, I collaborated with filmmaker Chris Godwin, founder and creative director of Inner Eye Productions, to create Invisible—a short film about first-time fathers’ mental health. Chris brings a distinctive approach to culture change through the powerful medium of film, and together we wanted to bridge the gap between research and real-life understanding.

Invisible builds directly on the findings of the New Dad Study, but it also includes interviews with practitioners and the lived experiences of a diverse range of fathers and parents. The film follows Luke, a new father navigating the challenges of parenthood in silence. It captures the mixed emotions, financial pressures, fear, and vulnerability that so many men described in my research. Our aim was to create something that not only informs but also moves people emotionally, helping viewers connect with the human side of the data.

Film has the unique ability to reach people in ways that written research cannot. It can open emotional doors, invite empathy, and encourage reflection. Increasingly, film is being recognised as a powerful tool to support learning and professional development, particularly around sensitive or complex issues like mental health. There is growing evidence that film-based learning can promote the kind of deep, reflective engagement that leads to lasting changes in attitudes and behaviour (Blasco et al., 2015).

We believe Invisible acts as a catalyst for change. Since its release, it has been viewed more than 9,000 times across different platforms and is being used in training sessions, educational settings, and public health initiatives. The film is a collaborative project between the Institute of Health Visiting, The Burdett Trust for Nursing, and Inner Eye Productions, and it could not have been created without the contributions of our wider team, including practitioners, production staff, advisers, and fathers who generously shared their experiences. Together, we continue to inspire conversations about how we can better support fathers’ mental health and wellbeing. Ultimately, Invisible is about visibility - about making sure fathers are seen, heard, and valued in both policy and practice.


Promoting Therapy to Men

As a profession, we still face the challenge of engaging more men in therapy. Research shows that men access psychological support less often than women, despite experiencing similar levels of distress (Seidler et al., 2016). I believe part of the answer lies in how we talk about therapy.

We can reframe counselling as a proactive and strengths-based process, an act of self-awareness and responsibility rather than a sign of weakness. Films like Invisible demonstrate that authentic storytelling and emotional honesty can reach men who might never read a mental health leaflet. By humanising the experience, we can invite empathy, rather than stigma.

It’s also crucial to move beyond the “one-size-fits-all” ideas about men. Some clients find traditional masculine values grounding; others experience them as restrictive. As counsellors, we can help men define masculinity on their own terms, rather than rejecting it altogether.

Intersectional perspectives (Mahalik et al., 2022) show us that masculinity is experienced in many different ways, shaped by culture, community, and social circumstances. Being able to reflect on how our own identities influence the way we work, by being reflexive in practice, is essential. Staying aware of this helps us approach each client with openness, curiosity, and without assumptions.


An Invitation: Watch Invisible

If there’s one thing I hope readers take away from this, it’s that fathers, and men in general, need to be seen. We can’t offer help to people who feel invisible. That’s why I’d love counsellors, supervisors, and training providers to watch Invisible and consider using it in their own work.

The film is freely available via the Institute of Health Visiting: https://ihv.org.uk/our-work/invisible-fathers-mental-health-film

It’s around 22 minutes long, with a short trailer, and comes with reflective questions and support notes. It can be used in teaching, supervision, or with groups to spark honest conversations about men’s mental health, parenting, and identity.

For me, it’s a reminder that visibility itself can be therapeutic. When people see their experiences reflected, they start to understand them differently. Whether used as part of CPD or simply as a reflective tool, I believe it can help us think more deeply about how we engage with men in the therapy room.

Conclusion

Looking back over my journey from nurse, midwife, and health visitor, to researcher, and now trainee counsellor, I realise it has always been about noticing and listening to voices that so often go unheard. Whether it is fathers navigating new parenthood, mothers adjusting to the challenges of family life, or children and babies whose early experiences shape their wellbeing, I see therapy as a space where being truly seen can be transformative for each individual and for the family as a whole. At the heart of both our film and my counselling practice is making the invisible visible. It’s about curiosity, deep listening, and noticing the quiet courage it takes for men and all clients to begin to speak openly and honestly.

References

Baldwin S, Malone M, Sandall J, Bick D. (2018) Mental health and wellbeing during the transition to fatherhood: a systematic review of first-time fathers’ experiences. JBI Database of Systematic Reviews and Implementation Reports: November 2018 - Volume 16 - Issue 11 - p 2118-2191 doi: 10.11124/JBISRIR-2017-003773. https://journals.lww.com/jbisrir/fulltext/2018/11000/mental_health_and_wellbeing_during_the_transition.10.aspx

Baldwin S, Malone M, Sandall J, et al (2019) A qualitative exploratory study of UK first-time fathers’ experiences, mental health and wellbeing needs during their transition to fatherhood. BMJ Open 2019;9:e030792. doi: 10.1136/bmjopen-2019-030792. https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/9/9/e030792.info

Baldwin S., Malone, M., Murrells, T. et al. (2021) A mixed-methods feasibility study of an intervention to improve men’s mental health and wellbeing during their transition to fatherhood. BMC Public Health 21, 1813. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-021-11870-x

Baldwin S, Malone M, Sandall J, Bick D. (2022) A process evaluation of Promotional Guides used by health visitors to support men's transition to fatherhood: a qualitative study. Perspectives in Public Health. 2022 Sep 8:17579139221118243. doi: 10.1177/17579139221118243. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 36073355. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36073355/

Levant, R. F., & Wong, Y. J. (2017). The psychology of men and masculinities. American Psychological Association. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/0000023-000

Mahalik, J. R., Burns, S. M., Syzdek, M. (2022). Masculinity and cultural diversity: New directions for counselling research and practice. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 69(3), 243–256.

Richards, C., Bouman, W. P., Seal, L., Barker, M. J., Nieder, T. O., & T’Sjoen, G. (2017). Non-binary or genderqueer genders. International Review of Psychiatry, 29(3), 259–279.

Seidler, Z. E., Dawes, A. J., Rice, S. M., Oliffe, J. L., & Dhillon, H. M. (2016). The role of masculinity in men’s help-seeking for depression: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 49, 106–118.