With thanks to our member Ilkay Alici for this article.
Living with anxiety can feel like standing in the middle of a bustling city square while everyone else moves effortlessly around you. The noise is overwhelming, the lights are too bright, and your mind races with a hundred different “what ifs.” It’s exhausting, and on some days, even getting out of bed feels like an achievement. But amidst all this, there is a way to find a bit of calm—it’s called self-care. Now, I know what you might be thinking: “Self-care? Like bubble baths and face masks?” Well, yes, but also no. Self-care goes much deeper than a luxurious spa day (although those can be great, too!). It’s about learning to be kind to yourself, to recognise your needs, and to find small ways to soothe your mind when the world feels like it’s spinning too fast.
1. Start with the Small Things: You Don’t Need to Climb Everest Today
When you’re dealing with anxiety, it’s easy to feel like every task is a mountain to climb. But here’s the thing—self-care doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. It can start small, with simple actions like drinking a glass of water when you wake up or taking five deep breaths before you start your day. These little rituals can ground you, helping to remind you that you’re in control, even when everything feels out of hand. Think of these small actions as anchors. They might not seem like much, but they can keep you steady when the waves of anxiety start to crash. And remember, self-care isn’t a to-do list to check off; it’s about listening to what you need in the moment.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Pause
We live in a world that celebrates productivity, where being busy is seen as a badge of honour. But when you’re struggling with anxiety, that constant pressure to keep going can feel unbearable. Sometimes, the most powerful form of self-care is giving yourself permission to stop. Allow yourself to take a break without feeling guilty. It’s okay to say no to plans if you need time to recharge. It’s okay to spend an afternoon watching your favourite show or reading a book. It’s okay to rest. Remember, rest is not a reward you have to earn; it’s a necessity, like breathing. Think of it this way: You wouldn’t expect your phone to keep working without a charge, right? The same goes for you. Taking a break doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human.
3. Find Joy in the Little Things
When anxiety takes over, it can feel like a dark cloud that blocks out all the sunlight. But even on the stormiest days, there are still small moments of joy if you look for them. Maybe it’s the warmth of your coffee cup in the morning, the sound of rain tapping on the window, or the way your pet greets you at the door. These moments might seem tiny, but they are reminders that life isn’t just anxiety. Try keeping a “Joy Journal.” Each day, jot down one thing that made you smile, no matter how small. Over time, you’ll build a collection of tiny sparks of happiness that you can look back on whenever you need a reminder that the clouds will part, even if just for a moment.
4. Embrace Imperfection—Progress, Not Perfection
One of the biggest hurdles for those with anxiety is the pressure to be perfect. You might feel like you need to have everything figured out, to never make mistakes, and to always keep it together. But let me tell you something: nobody has it all together, no matter how it looks from the outside. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. It’s okay if some days are harder than others. It’s okay if you don’t get everything done. Focus on progress, not perfection. Maybe today you made it out of bed. Maybe you reached out to a friend. Maybe you just took a shower. Celebrate those small wins—they are steps forward. Remember, you are more than your anxiety. You are strong enough to face what you feel, even if you don’t always believe it. And on the days when it’s hard to believe, let these words remind you: It’s okay to be a work in progress.
5. You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
One of the most challenging parts of living with anxiety is feeling like nobody else understands what you’re going through. But the truth is, you don’t have to face it alone. Whether talking to a friend, joining a support group, or reaching out to a therapist, there is strength in seeking support. It’s easy to believe that reaching out makes you a burden, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. People care about you and want to help you carry the load, even for a little while. It’s okay to lean on others, just like you would want them to lean on you.A Final Note: You Are Not Your Anxiety
You are not defined by your anxiety. Yes, it’s a part of you, but it’s not all of you. There is so much more within you—your kindness, your resilience, your ability to keep going even when the world feels heavy. Self-care is about honouring that side of you, the side that keeps showing up even when it’s hard. So, the next time your mind starts racing and the world feels too overwhelming, remember this: you are enough, just as you are. Take a breath, take it slow, and remember that taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do.
