Boundaries in therapy have been on my mind a lot recently, not least because of an upcoming panel discussion at the Suicide&Co Sector Summit, where I’ll be exploring how they actually enhance, rather than restrict, the impact of therapy. It’s something I think about often in my role at the NCPS - so many of the conversations I see happening at the Society, whether about ethical dilemmas, service design, or even professional burnout, seem to come back to this fundamental question: where do we draw the line? And why does it matter so much?
It’s easy to see boundaries as something limiting, or exclusionary, but in counselling and psychotherapy, boundaries create the conditions for safe, ethical, and effective work, rather than exclude people. Without them, therapy loses its structure, and without structure, it’s hard for clients to feel truly secure in the space. I’ve spoken to practitioners who struggle with this; those who feel compelled to offer just a bit more, to stretch the limits, to be available at all times because the need is just so great. And it's not to say I don't totally get it; we're in this profession because we care deeply about people, and we want to help. The really tricky thing, though, is that when those boundaries start to erode, so does the very foundation that makes therapy work.
Boundaries create safety. They help clients know what to expect, where they stand, and what the therapeutic space is for. In a world that can often feel unpredictable, overwhelming, or even unsafe, therapy should be the one place where clients don’t have to guess the rules or worry about sudden changes; this is so important for people who have experienced blurred, inconsistent, or even abusive boundaries elsewhere in their lives - perhaps in childhood, relationships, workplaces, or even previous therapeutic encounters. Having this predictability alongside a congruent therapeutic relationship can be transformational. It offers them an opportunity to experience stability, perhaps for the first time, and to begin to rebuild a sense of trust in others and in themselves.
If we can maintain our boundaries in the right way, therapy becomes a place where trust is built through, amongst other powerful things, consistency. Sessions that start and end on time reinforce the idea that the client’s time, emotions, and experiences are valued; ethical lines that are robustly held provide reassurance that the therapeutic relationship is safe and free from ulterior motives. The clear distinction between a professional relationship and personal entanglement allows the client to fully engage in the process without confusion or fear of dependency. When we uphold firm yet compassionate boundaries, what we're really communicating is: "This is a space where your needs can be met without fear, pressure, or obligation".
For some clients, boundaries can also offer a necessary structure that prevents therapy from becoming overwhelming. Knowing that sessions will take place at a predictable time, that communication between sessions is managed in a clear way, and that there's an agreed framework for working together can make all the difference in helping a client feel secure enough to engage with difficult emotions. This consistency models that relationships can be both close and contained, supportive yet structured, warm but appropriately limited. Perhaps most importantly, strong boundaries create a framework in which real therapeutic work can take place. If a client is preoccupied with whether their therapist is available at all hours, or if they're uncertain about the limits of the relationship, that cognitive and emotional energy is taken away from the actual process of healing and self-exploration. A well-boundaried therapist provides a holding space that allows the client to feel contained, supported, and ultimately empowered to make meaningful changes in their life.
A huge part of being a counsellor / psychotherapist is trying to manage the emotional weight of your work; sometimes this goes well, and sometimes sadly not so well, depending on a huge variety of circumstances, and it will ebb and flow for everyone over time. Our capacities change constantly; it's natural, and we should take care to allow that in ourselves, but also be aware of it. For some, there's a great deal of exhaustion that comes from holding too much, from stretching beyond what’s sustainable. Without boundaries, burnout is pretty much inevitable. And when therapists burn out, clients lose out. Compassion fades, attentiveness weakens, and suddenly, therapy is no longer the safe, contained space it should be. Holding clear boundaries doesn't, or shouldn't, communicate to your clients that you're cold or unfeeling, or impervious to that emotional weight, but what it does do is ensure that your work remains sustainable, so that every client gets the best version of you, not the you that's running on empty.
Then there's the question of fairness. Consider the ethical challenges that arise when one client is given extra time, another is allowed more contact between sessions, another is squeezed into an already full caseload because their story was just too heartbreaking to turn away... The intention behind these choices is always good, coming from a place of deep caring, but the impact leads to inequity between clients. If the therapy you offer is to be effective for all of your clients, then it's important to be cognisant of treating them all fairly. That means having clear structures in place that ensure support is delivered consistently, without some clients receiving more at the expense of others (or of yourself as a practitioner). Having said that, there could well be times when you simply do need to spend more time on a client than expected; make sure you're communicating with your supervisor at those times, and considering any broader impacts or implications that might occur.
As technology develops, and elsewhere mental health services become more stretched, boundaries are being tested in new ways. Digital therapy platforms promise immediate, round-the-clock support, but what does that do to the expectation of therapist availability? AI-driven mental health tools offer instant responses, but what happens when clients start to replace real relationships with algorithmic ones? The human connection, which as we know is so essential to the therapeutic process, risks being lost in a paradigm that prioritises speed and efficiency over depth and relational safety. Good boundaries help clients develop resilience, self-trust, and a sense of agency in their own lives. If therapy becomes a space where a client is endlessly accommodated, where every crisis overrides the need for structure, then it stops being therapy and starts being something else entirely. This is one of the major pitfalls of the 'always-on' nature of AI therapy Chatbots, as well as a relatively common undercurrent in complaints from clients.
In multi-agency work, a burgeoning part of our increasingly interconnected roles within the mental health support ecosystem, boundaries become even more crucial. The more parties involved in a person’s care, the greater the risk of confusion - who is responsible for what? Who makes the decisions? Who holds accountability? Without clear boundaries, clients can fall through the cracks or be passed between services without actually receiving the right support. We see this happen where there isn't a clear enough delineation; either one person takes on the tasks of other organisations, missing key steps, or boundaries are unclear enough that organisations don't feel they can step forward at all. Again, when everyone is overstretched and struggling with huge case loads, a lack of clarity could very easily mean the people who would be best placed to step forward are disincentivised or otherwise not adequately enforced to do so.
So how do we uphold boundaries without losing the warmth and humanity that therapy requires? This is something every therapist grapples with; it's difficult, sensitive, and different for each client. You walk a line that requires you to have a great deal of skill, self-awareness, and intention. The result, though, when done thoughtfully, is a safe and effective space for therapy to take place. So how do we hold our clients in a way that supports rather than stifles the therapeutic relationship?
Firstly and foremostly: clarity. Clients need to know what therapy involves, what it doesn’t, and why. Setting expectations from the outset, about session times, fees, communication outside of sessions, and the therapist’s role, helps prevent misunderstandings or confusion later. But it’s also really important how we do that; how we communicate these boundaries in a way that is warm, open, and non-punitive. A rigidly stated boundary can feel like rejection for many, while a thoughtfully explained one can be warm, thoughtful, and caring. "I don’t text between sessions" can sound cold; "I find that therapy is most effective when we keep our conversations within sessions, where I can give you my full attention" reinforces the boundary while maintaining connection.
Being fair is just as important. Boundaries should be applied consistently, not flexed depending on the client or the situation. If we allow exceptions too often, we risk creating confusion or, worse, unintentionally replicating the unpredictability that many clients have experienced in other relationships. Consistency builds trust, whereas inconsistent boundaries, like offering extra time to some clients but not others, responding to messages outside of working hours sporadically, can create doubt and, perhaps, even resentment. That’s not to say that every situation is black and white. There will, of course, always be moments that require clinical judgment, but fairness means ensuring that our choices are rooted in ethical reasoning rather than personal preference or external pressures.
Being reflective and taking the time to consider our own needs and reactions is key if we're going to create boundaries that are appropriate and sustainable for ourselves and our clients. If we feel pulled to step outside the boundaries we’ve set, we need to pause and ask: is this truly in the client’s best interest, or is this coming from our own discomfort with holding the line? Are we worried about seeming uncaring? Are we finding it difficult to tolerate a client’s distress? Are we trying to meet their needs or soothe our own anxiety about whether we are "doing enough"? Boundaries should be compassionate, but they should also be thoughtful and intentional. When we notice our own resistance to upholding a boundary, that’s often an invitation to reflect rather than to automatically override it. Supervision is the ideal place to explore this if you feel that you struggle with holding boundaries with certain clients.
Holding boundaries well is about modelling that care and containment are not opposites, that consistency and connection can coexist, and that limits, when applied with warmth and transparency, can actually enhance the therapeutic relationship rather than diminish it. When clients know what to expect and trust that those expectations will be upheld, they feel safer. And safety is what allows for the depth, openness, and transformation that therapy is meant to provide. Counterintuitively, perhaps, boundaries don’t push people away or keep them out. They create a space infused with trust, safety, and growth. I keep coming back to something I’ve seen time and time again in my work at the NCPS: the therapists who have the clearest boundaries are often the ones who have the most lasting impact. Not because they do less or refuse to 'go the extra mile' for their clients, but because they do what they do with clarity, consistency, and care.
