With thanks to our Accredited Registrant member, Jurgen Schwarz, for this article.
When someone first hears the words “early stages dementia,” the ground can feel as though it shifts beneath their feet. Daily routines that once felt simple may suddenly feel uncertain. Names, dates, or small details slip away, and with them, confidence can falter. Yet even in these moments of change, there is something powerful we as therapists can offer: validation. At its heart, validation is not about fixing or correcting. It is about listening, affirming, and reminding someone that who they are still matters deeply.
What Does Validation Mean?
Validation is more than a nod or a polite response. It’s the act of truly recognising a person’s feelings and experiences, even when they don’t quite align with our own perspective of reality. For someone living in the early stages of dementia, that recognition can feel like a lifeline. It says, “I see you. You matter. You are more than your diagnosis.” In those moments, dignity is restored, and a sense of self shines through.
Stories That Keep Identity Alive
One of the most beautiful ways to support identity is through stories. Everyone has a treasury of experiences that form who they are. When someone with dementia shares a memory, whether it’s about raising children, a career highlight, or a favourite holiday, listening with genuine interest affirms that their life continues to hold meaning. A story about a seaside trip, a cherished family meal, or a small victory at work becomes more than nostalgia, it becomes a reminder of identity that still endures, no matter what changes come.
A Real-Life Moment
I once had a therapy session with a gentleman in the early stages of dementia who was upset because he couldn’t remember the names of his colleagues from years ago. His voice shook as he said, “It’s like they’ve all disappeared, like I’ve lost them and myself too.” Instead of correcting or distracting him, I simply replied, “I can hear how painful that feels. Those people must have been very important to you.” His shoulders relaxed, and he began to tell me about the work they did together, laughing as he described old office jokes. He may not have recalled the names, but the essence of his identity, as a committed professional and a man with rich relationships, was alive in that moment. Validation didn’t erase the loss, but it opened the door for dignity and connection.
The Gift of Listening
There is something profoundly healing about being heard. In our conversations as counsellors and psychotherapists with people living with dementia, it’s not about correcting slips in memory or pointing out errors. Instead, it’s about leaning in and hearing the emotion beneath the words. If someone says, “I feel useless because I keep forgetting things,” a validating response might be: “That must feel so difficult. I can understand why you’d feel that way.” These words don’t take away the challenge, but they acknowledge the person’s reality, and that in itself can be a huge comfort.
Holding On to Agency
Validation isn’t only about feelings, it’s also about choice. Dementia doesn’t erase someone’s ability to make decisions. In fact, encouraging choice, whether it’s about what to eat, how to spend the day, or how to be supported in the future, reinforces agency. These decisions, however small, remind a person that they still have a voice. That sense of control, even in little things, strengthens dignity and counters the helplessness that dementia can bring.
Safety and Trust in Conversation
When people feel validated, they often open up and share more freely. This creates a safe space where honesty and vulnerability can stand alongside strength and resilience. In my own work with people diagnosed with mild to moderate dementia, and with carers of those living with dementia, I’ve witnessed how individuals with dementia sit a little taller when their words are received with respect rather than correction. In those moments, confidence grows, trust deepens, and what might otherwise feel like a clinical “session” transforms into a genuine human connection.
The Ripple Effect at Home
Validation doesn’t just belong in therapy rooms. Families and friends can bring it into everyday life. Something as simple as slowing down, listening without interruption, or acknowledging a loved one’s frustration can transform a conversation. These small acts ripple outward, strengthening bonds and creating a culture of compassion at home. Over time, validation becomes more than a technique, it becomes a way of relating that keeps dignity intact, no matter how things change.
In Closing
Dementia can feel daunting, both for our clients and ourselves, but it also offers opportunities for profound connection. Through validation, we affirm identity, honour agency, and uphold dignity. To be seen and heard is a universal human need. For those living with dementia, it is not just helpful, it is vital. When we choose validation, we give the gift of belonging, reminding each person that their story still matters, their choices still count, and their voice is still strong.
